How did Mandana Phoebe Benner Survive Her Losses?

I wonder how she survived the death of her father in 1864/5 and her mother shortly thereafter? Then, there was the loss of her husband of twenty-four years. Here is the story that I can construct so far.

I can find a reference to Nathaniel Benner in Marion, Washington, Maine in the 1840 census. He (male 20-29) and another person (female 15-19), presumably Phoebe E., his wife, are in agriculture. It may be that he had married previous to his marriage to Phoebe. However, the 1850 census lists them in the enumeration district of Marshfield, Washington, Maine. Nathaniel H. is 29, Phoebe E. is 23 and Susan S. is 9 which means that Phoebe married very early in her life, or Susan is a relative. Nathaniel is a laborer.

In 1860, the family is in town of Rock Creek, Dunn County, Wisconsin with the Post Office as Pepin. N. H. Bremer [sic] is a carpenter from Maine and he is 39. P.E. Bremer is 32 and from Maine. Mandana is nine and was born in Maine. Amanda J. is eight and was born in New York as was N.H. who is four. Emma H. (Hellena it turns out) was born in Wisconsin and is one.

It is a little difficult finding information about the couple. A P.E. Benner is listed in the mortality schedule of the 1870 census with the right information to fit our Phoebe:

Female, White, Widowed, born about 1829 in Maine, aged 40, keeping house, who died July 1869 of consumption (read the actual image as the data retrieval incorrectly posts "old age caught cold", Pleasant Valley, Eau Claire, Wisconsin.

Her tombstone can be found in the Hadleyville Cemetery, Pleasant Valley, Eau Claire County, Wisconsin and it reads:

Birth 1829; Death Jul. 18, 1869; Phebe E. Benner, Wife of N.H. Benner, Aged 40 Ys 4 Mo 1 Dy

Very interesting photos of the headstone can be found here (Phebe E Benner (1829 - 1869) - Find A Grave Memorial)

(I am mindful that this is the same year that is on Patrick Bulman's gravestone.)

In the 1870 Census for Pleasant Valley, Emma Benner (11) is with George (40), Hester (37) and Albert (21) Dickerson which explains why a George Dickerson applied on behalf of a minor for the pention of Nathaniel Benner in 1 March 1870. Phoebe E. Benner is dead.

Martha Benner (9) is with David (60) and Sarah (57) Cleasby who were farmers.

A Henry Bemer/Benner (15, born in New York, N.H. of 1860) is listed as a hired help to the Kelly family. (Probably Nathaniel Henry Benner, Mandana's brother).

A Jennie Benner (17, born in New York, Amanda J. of 1860) is listed as the domestic helper of the Jones family.

I have yet to find Mandana and am going through all of the census data for Eau Claire county enumeration district by enumeration district. She may not be listed. At twenty, she may be working for a family.

Mandana married Nathaniel Bulman 14 September 1872 in Eau Claire county. (Unfortunately, the Wisconsin Genealogy Index lists her as Mandana Bennez who married Nathaniei Bulman which makes it hard to find them without persistence.) Nathaniel is forty years old and Mandana is twenty-two.

In the 1880 Census, the family is listed as Bowman in Eau Claire, Eau Claire, Wisconsin. There is Nathaniel, Mandan, Herbert (7) and Pearl (5). Nathaniel is a carpenter and Mandan is keeping house. There are two helpers living with them as well. One is also a carpenter. The Bulman family were part-time farmers and carpenter/joiners.

On 17 October 1881, Nathaniel Bulman makes a land claim in Dunn County, Wisconsin. Township 31-N, Range 14-W and Section 18 for 123.84 acres.

Nathaniel Bullman is listed on the 1888 town plat for New Haven (Connersville PO), Dunn County, Wisconsin on the western border towards the middle. This is the same as the land claim above expect that it looks like he has sold 40 acres as the map lists him as having 43.85 + 40 acres.

In the 1900 Census for 12 June, Mandana (misspelt Maudelin) Boleman and Viola B. [sic] Boleman, 22 years old, are together in Menominee, Dunn County, Wisconsin. Viola is a school teacher who had worked nine months in the previous year. Mandana has had two children; both are still living.

On 1 June, Mandana is listed as a widow in the 1905 Wisconsin census and she is living with her daughter Viola P. and her son-in-law, George Schlough in Sheridan, Dunn County, Wisconsin. George and Viola had married on 28 October 1903 in Dunn County. Herbert W. Bulman had married Bertie Terry on 15 May 1898 in Dunn.

I have yet to find her for 1910 and 1920.

Here is Mandana's gravestone:

Mandana Phoebe Benner Bulman (1850 - 1926) - Find A Grave Memorial

Here is Nathaniel P. Bulman's gravestone:

Natianiel P Bulman (1832 - 1896) - Find A Grave Memorial

The answer to the question about surviving the loss of father and mother so close seems to be the response of a community and the particular age of the children. A number were of a mature age for that period and could work for their living. It is interesting that the family settles back in Dunn County and I wonder if there were some family connections that remained there.